Are we not done done done with Dunland yet?  How are we not done with Dunland yet?  I had a whole “Dun-Dun-Dunland” title ready to go, but every time I was sent off on some venture I found I was still in Dunland.

I mean sure, I knew that once I got out of Isengard I had some stuff to clean up in Dunland, and that Dunland was a region that might extend a bit beyond the zone named Dunland.  But still, I was there for a while.

And maybe I was a bit surprised when Theodred was hot to trot to rescue Halbarad and the team from the Falcon Clan.  Look, I was the one who ended up in freaking Isengard, not them.  But there was so much to do once I got there.  So I am going to try and sum things up a bit.

The Grey Company – Some Reassembly Required

Theodred had a plan and I guess I know now why Tur Morva is its own instance with a stable master like a mile down the road.  Things there change whenever you reach a new part of the story.  Pretty neat, in its way… or would be if I cared about the Falcon Clan even in the slightest.

Anyway, the crews was there, Theodred, some rangers who were hiding somewhere when the rest were scooped up, and the traditional tiny, withered old woman, a previously unknown staple of Middle-earth lore.  I mean, I don’t recall that many in any of the books.

Of course, we couldn’t just get into it.  I had to go do this and that and scout that and get supplies and somebody’s tummy was upset so I had to go find digestive root for them.  Typical Free People’s shambles.

Not kidding about the digestive root

Eventually, once all the tasks were done and paperwork signed, we attacked, found the rangers in the prison, and freed them.

Freeing Callow Hal and the Sons of Elrond

Pretty ballsy Falcon Clan, holding the freaking sons of Elrond captive.  The eldar are many things, but forgetful is not on their list of shortcomings.

So we confronted the chief, who pointed out that he still had his whole tribe and there were just 20 of us and that he was going to let us go knowing that it would piss us off no end because we couldn’t deliver the smack down he so richly deserved for his betrayal.

Falcon Clan… you’re on the list

Halbarad regretfully agreed.  There was the whole business of the war and the Grey Company was supposed to catch up with Aragorn.  So off we went.

Anyway, that was done and I hope at some future point there is, if not an expansion, at least a update or content pack with the title Halbarad Goes Back and Fucks Up the Falcon Clan.  Because I am down for a rematch.

As a thank you for not only being their logistical manager, but now rescuing them all as a group, I was made an even more honorary member of the Grey Company.  As I said a few parting words to them individually, they each gave me a piece of Grey Company cosmetic gear, so now I can go around in the world looking like this.

Grey Company cosplay engaged

I like the general look.  The boot knife is a little awkward, hanging outside the boot, and I am not sure what is in all those pockets the bandolier has.  Meanwhile, the throwing stars… up there on my left shoulder… seem a bit much, like somebody said “I need to make this outfit 10% more rad!”

Anyway, I am ready for ComicCon!

The Gap of Rohan – Actually Still Dunland

After getting suited up in my Grey Company cosplay, I headed into the Gap of Rohan thinking I was now leaving Dunland in my dust.  But what do I find?  I am actually still in Dunland.

I know, sure, the gap has its own map, a few unique deeds, and the outposts are all run by Rohan Camp Services.  But what is going on in the gap?  A bunch of Dunlanders are roaming about the place.  Hell, I even ended up killing Stag Clan Dunlanders.  Oh, Guto.  When will you learn?

The clincher though, is that the slayer deeds for Dunland… they all still get incremented here in the places I thought were beyond Dunland.  So not only do I have the title for being kindred of the Men of Dunland, but I also have the advanced slayer deed for killing the Men of Dunland… and I spend a lot of time just bringing down the hate on Dunlanders.

Burning down their homes… but I am kindred

(Also, the mobs in half of the zone drop items for Dunland tasks, but the task board wants a different set of items.  Annoying.)

Anyway, the narrative problem being explored in the gap is that different factions of Rohan trying to get their way, with the pro-Saruman faction ready to go to war with both Dunland and the Grey Company… I mean, I never stopped getting asked to kill Dunlanders no matter what, but maybe it was a bad time to don the Grey Company cosplay… while vying with the “Saruman is up to something” faction that wants to hear from the Grey Company, if also still keen to indiscriminately kill Dunlanders.  Not much on the “hearts and minds” philosophy those horse-lords.

Not completely buying Saruman’s free trade propaganda

We also learn, in the Gap or Rohan, that there was some new rule on the quest team that every main quest giver has to get at least one instanced quest where you have to travel to some place with them, do something… sometimes something extremely trivial… before being done and returned, occasionally to some place completely different, though often more convenient.

Eventually they run out of different flavors of Dunlanders for me to slay and I end up on mission to talk to a Grey Company rep in Nan Curunir.

Nan Curunir – Definitely Still Dunland

The trip to Nan Curunir was part of the Grey Company rehabilitation plan by the Saruman skeptical faction of Rohan to find out what Saruman was up to.

Draw distance means I can see the walls and the mountains behind, but not the tower

Here we find that Tolkien must have read How Green Was My Valley, because Saruman took a pleasant little place and made it look like a US corporation took over.  Everything is dying, the place is polluted, anything resembling a local government claims everything is fine, and there are surly, underpaid workers milling about, drunk on cough syrup or high on fentanyl, looking for a fight.  It is basically the Kristi Noem vision for North Dakota.

So I waylay a bunch of people, finished up a couple of Dunland slayer deeds, and even have a meet and greet with Saruman who still has his eye on me.

Then I wander over and find Quickbeam, my first ent encounter.

I  did some heavy lifting for him, then he breaks a sewer grate and lets me inside the ring.

Isengard?  You bet that is Dunland!

Quickbeam’s work was a success, so I was able to go back inside the ring of Isengard, just where I wanted to be… right?  And I spent a while there doing some repeatable dailies to become kindred with Theodred’s riders during the week when I didn’t have much time to play but wanted to use up my daily blue bar.

I ended up at level 77 after this as well.  While I mourned the lost of my +xp pocket item at level 65, the anniversary celebrations introduced an xp boost for all VIP players, so I was suddenly scarfing down xp by the bucket full.

VIP Anniversary boost

Eventually I made my reputation goal and had time to get back to camp and fiddle with the map table I had been directed to previously.

Back Outside Isengard, which remains in Dunland

Then, because I think I did the quests out of order, I ended up with Theodred’s company attacking Isengard.  Or maybe it was the right order.  Either way, there we were… like, 22 of us, ready to take on Saruman.

I am standing at the back, anticipating disaster

That goes as well as expected and we ended up with Theodred’s extended death scene where, among other things, he does his Dan Rather imitation for us one last time.

If three people understand this, it will have been worth the effort

Then we go back to camp where Gimbold says it has been a tough day and maybe I should take a nap, gesturing to one of the half a dozen bedrolls spread out in the open, on the main path through camp, next to the stable master, in the height of midday.  But apparently I am tired and fall right asleep.

My Dreams, Still in Dunland

Then I went through a dream sequence with none other than Candaith as my guide.  We have to go through the individual trials of the Grey Company, like Calenglad breaking up with his elf girlfriend.  I mean, he does go on, then he is done, dropping to his traditional reclined pose to bid me farewell.

Don’t ever stop being you Candaith

But the dream is not done and I end up seeing the fellowship, minus Gandalf.

Boromir off to one side, a clear sign…

I had to click on each of them to hear their animitronic speeches.  Then they faded and Gollum showed up and did his line.

Then I am was in a marsh and there was a giant sword sticking in the ground.  When I touched the sword, color returned to my vision.

My therapist is going to be able to retire on this sword metaphor alone

Then Nona, the Dunland woman from scene 24 in Enedwaith, showed up… looking for me of all things.  And then, while I was trying to juggle the idea of the sword and a random woman from a few zones back, Galadriel showed up and I am started to wonder if this was some sort of Telaranrhiod cross-over episode.  Galadriel said I need edto get to Lothlorien… and to bring the ghost.

Seriously, how does one “bring” a ghost?  Also, what about the sword?

Having ignored Galadriel’s two previous summons, it seemed like I was going to end up in Lothlorien regardless.

But first Nona and I had to go back to Enedwaith before proceeding to Lothlorien.  But at least it was all via the “travel now” quest button.

So off we went, finally leaving Dunland behind.  I was headed to Lothlorien and, I hoped, Rohan at last, having made it to level 80.